I really wanted to follow my last blog, 5 Things I Regret About My Wedding, with a reprisal that includes a few of the many responses I received. There were two common themes among the comments that rose to the top: 1) Please don’t wait a year to eat your wedding cake – bleh!, and 2) even though things didn’t go the way they had planned, they loved every minute of it! These comments moved me, so I had to share.
From Norma: “Oh, Jen , my love, don’t waste time looking back. There are no mistakes, we just learn how not to do things. Just think, when your girls get married what you can do for them. And guess what? They will have some regrets, also. :)” Thank you, Norma. How true! Our mistakes in life CANNOT weigh us down. They are part of our story; a story given to us for a purpose. These experiences can actually empower us to be a force for change and a strong support for our communities that surround us. We all have a corner in the world wherein we are placed by no mistake. I believe that. By the way, be encouraged because this is also true for pain and suffering that we’ve endured not by our own fault.
From Summer: “I regret not getting pictures with some of the special people that were there. Everything else was perfect! It all did not go as planned, but it was perfect:)” So bold to use the word “perfect” when things did not go as planned. There it is folks. Our plans are not always the way it should be. Our plans can be flawed, so why would we ever clutch them so tight? I’ve had to learn this the hard way as many of my plans in life dissolved like sand filtering through my fingers. Only to find that the real plan for my life was a whole lot better. Jeremiah 29:11, “For I know the plans that I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” His plans are always the best!
From Laarni: “Here’s my problem. I have difficulty with the word “regret” or as I see it, feeling disappointment or a sense of failure. I tried to dig deep and have to report that I have zero regrets about my wedding day. However, I asked myself what could have been improved? Well, that’s easier to answer for me. Here is a list of wishes:
• I wish I had unlimited funds to pay for all the travel/lodging for every person that attended our wedding in Maui
• I wish my best friend didn’t just have a baby so she could be there with me
• I wish we stayed longer than 10 days
• I wish I could eat Four Season’s homemade ice cream and lobster sandwiches 24/7
I did not feel disappointed when the wedding planner changed the venue the day of the wedding because of inclement weather. The hotel open courtyard was actually better than being out in the elements. I did not feel a sense of failure when Scott’s wedding ring did not arrive as planned and we had to find a cheap substitute, which I still have and cherish. I truly believe that things happen for a reason and our hurdles were merely there to test us and see how we respond. I loved our rehearsal dinner, wedding, and honeymoon and wouldn’t have changed anything about it.” To cherish the things that go awry and see the beauty in what they can become. This is the beautiful work that God can do in our lives. In John 9:1-12 Jesus takes mud to heal a man from blindness. If he can bring beauty out of mud, he can bring beauty from all of our regrets, failures, and pain.
Are you saddled with regret? In the famous words of Queen Elsa, Let It Go! What are your thoughts? I want to hear them!