5 Things I Regret About My Wedding

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The wedding.  Eagerly anticipated, sacred, and significant.  It holds the potential to change the trajectory of your life.  It is loaded with emotions, hopes, dreams, and expectations… and for some, cynicism.  I just spent a weekend reliving my wedding through memories and reflecting on my 12 years since.  My husband and I attended an amazing wedding in the ever-gorgeous Naples, Florida.  Right before the ceremony began, the gentlemen next to me leaned over and said, “This is much fancier than mine was.”  To which I replied, “Mine was very lovely, but definitely not this fancy.”  I loved my wedding and I love my memories from it.  It got me to thinking whether I would change anything had I the opportunity to do it again.  And I realized I do have some regrets.

 

1)   I regret not investigating some of my song choices a bit more thoroughly.  I requested a song that had four verses that I had never heard before.  My miss resulted in an additional eight awkward minutes where Jason and I weirdly gazed into each other’s eyes whispering, “When is this song going to end?”  It was torturous for me (and I’m sure everyone else) who just wanted to get on with it!

2)   I regret spending most of my time at the reception on the dance floor.  For some reason I felt like I was completely responsible for the party momentum and that meant dancing.  Talk about awkward.  Dancing and Jennifer do not go together.  I should have spent more quality time visiting with my friends and family.

3)   I regret saving my cake to eat at my one-year anniversary.  A tradition that needs to go away!  I only had one bite on my wedding day.  You know, that one where the bride and groom feed each other a piece?  It was so tasty and I really would have eaten more, but never got to.  Trust me…year-old, frozen cake tastes exactly like what you would expect.

4)   I regret staying so late after the reception and attending the after party.  We were whisked away to the quaint Henderson Village in Georgia in the wee hours of the night, and we got there so late that no one was awake to receive us.  We couldn’t find the key at 3:00 am and I was beside myself I was so tired.  Our room was absolutely lovely and with our honeymoon flight so early the next morning, we could have easily stayed at a Holiday Inn and never noticed the difference.  I regret not being able to enjoy the beauty and charm of that place.

5)   I regret not transporting our wedding gifts back home in a better way.  Mind you, I’m really not sure how we would have done it differently considering we married over 800 miles from where we lived.  There were six total gifts that did not have associated cards, and therefore six people did not get their customary thank you.  That bothered me for years, and apparently still does since it made the list.

 

And as hard as I try, I cannot think of any more regrets.  I don’t regret my choice of mate (although there may have been a time where we might have said something to that effect in elevated voices, ahem).  And I definitely don’t regret choosing Americus, Georgia to get married.  I had a beautiful, southern-style wedding, hosted by such hospitable people.  I still love those people even though I haven’t been back in ages.  The journey since my wedding hasn’t been easy, but I am fortunate that our ceremony eventually solidified into a marriage.  We have grown together, served each other (I still have to remind myself to do this one), and deepened our love for one another.  All in all, I would do it all over again.

 

If you had to do it all over, what would you do differently?  Do you have any regrets?  What would you keep the same?

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Comments

  1. Hallie Tassin says

    I really loved this! So honest and thought provoking! And what a lovely pic of you! Who is with you there?

  2. Ruth Peterson says

    I love that you and Jill are still close even though you live miles apart. Your wedding was beautiful and one time when all our family were together and that was truly special. That picture of you two and the pepsi can is priceless.

  3. Summer says

    I regret not getting pictures with some of the special people that were there. Everything else was perfect! It all did not go as planned, but it was perfect:)

  4. Laarni Herbert says

    I love this Jennifer! “Regret” is a topic not often associated with weddings but definitely thought provoking. I will have to come up with my own list and share with you some other time. (wait…why Pepsi can and not Diet Coke?)

    • jenrobadams@gmail.com says

      We were in Georgia! Of course it’s Diet Coke! Ha! Come up with your list and let me post it!

  5. Ivy Fisher says

    I loved your candidness, Jennifer. It made me smile. We have alot in common even though our weddings were about 30 years apart. Clif and I also had that 4 verse song that was at least 3 verses too long. I don’t think couples realize how crazy awkward and tortuous it is to stare into each other’s eyes while an entire church full of people look on and glance back and forth at their watches and the cake table. lol I wish I had been more “in the moment” and mature enough to realize “it’s not about me.” (But, alas, maybe that is something you only acquire with age…..) I wish I had taken the time to thank and visit with everyone there. The pictures remind me of how many people, who were once so important in my life, are no longer here. Both pastors (your granddad and Weldon), my grandparents, 21 of my aunts and uncles, and about 12 of my cousins have since died. I can so relate to your comment about learning to serve your mate. I loved Clif so much for all the happiness he brought to me that I never really spent much time thinking about what I could do for him. I had so much to learn! Thankful that God AND Clif did not give up on me! Marriage is a journey, and like all journeys, it has its “moments.” Some moments are good and some you so wish you could have avoided but they all make up the story of two people who chose to have a life together rather than apart. Enjoy your journey! I wouldn’t have missed mine!

  6. Jill Schmoldt says

    I love that picture!! I regret being a sobbing mess in my speech…lol….I also regret not seeing you in so long!

    Just so you know…your wedding weekend was one of Brian’s favorite memories!!

    xoxo

  7. Norma Mendes says

    Oh, Jen , my love, don’t waste time looking back, there are no mistakes, we just learn how not to do things. Just think, when your girls get married what you can do for them., and guess what, they will have some regrets, also.(:)

    • jenrobadams@gmail.com says

      How beautiful! I’d like to include this in my reprisal of this blog with reader’s comments!

  8. Jeane Wood says

    Jennifer, after 62 years of wedded blister, I mean bliss, I don’t think about the regrets. I can’t remember any, really. What I do concentrate on is the glory of God that led me to a boy in the 7th grade that He had chosen to be my husband, and the the way He worked it all out. I look back now and see the way He worked in the lives of two people who came from poor backgrounds and the doors He opened to help change that. The only regret that I have is a brief separation after two years of marriage and a baby boy to raise, but God worked that out too and we’re still together and have a deeper love for each other than I can imagine. He guided us through the death of that baby boy when he was 34 years old. He gave us a daughter that is the light of our lives, and is a strong Christian woman. We’re as opposite as two people can be, but we have learned to accommodate those differences and, though we are attached at the hip, we can let each other be his/her own person. It hasn’t always been a bed of roses, but we have run the race and almost won. What a blessing

  9. Deby Contesse says

    Hmm! Where do I start?! … Just kidding!
    1- When I got married I wasn’t a believer, I didn’t have a pastor blessing our wedding, no spiritual tradition, God was NOT in my mind, I’d change that for sure.
    2- I regret being so nervous and now I don’t remember a lot of that day, I should have spent time trying to calm down and embrace the moment.
    3- I regret putting all my trust in the photographer, and I don’t have ONE picture to hang on my walls, the angle is awful. How frustrating!
    4- I regret inviting some people that didn’t have a lot to do with us, and not inviting others who did.

    Dress was gorgeous (ok, a large large neckline that could have been smaller but oh well, I was in my 20s), place was perfect, music was fun and lovely, food was yummy, wine was great.
    I secretly (now not anymore) wish Pablo would want to do it again, but this time with a Christ centered mind and heart. It doesn’t have to be a fancy place, food or live music and a ton of people, but there has to be a good dress and good wine ;)

  10. Annette Lewis says

    First I would have to pick which wedding. Then I could go on from there, and believe me, I do have regrets. No beautiful church wedding, I was that pregnant bride in a borrowed gown whose new, young, uneducated, lazy husband was vomiting behind at the wedding party table most of the night. Little did I know I would lose that child to cancer 5 years later . I would have danced all night, alone, and considered an annulment.
    By the time Prince Charming arrived I had been a tired, single parent so long, I didn’t really put much thought into a big “to do”. Now that I think about it, I don’t have any wedding regrets from my second/current marriage; the bottom line was he had found me and promised to have and to hold until death do us part. My image and expectations of the “wedding” had become less material, it was all about the promising road ahead.
    Oh, our wedding was in a small Court House in Missouri, his cousin and her husband were our witnesses an his sister showed up with her three kids in muddy galoshes because they heard through the grapevine that we were taking the plunge and thought it would be a nice break from cow duty. Ha!

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